Sunday, December 31, 2006

A New Year's Folly

As each year dawns, it becomes bogged down by the weight of expectations. For weeks everyone will be asking me about my New Year's Resolution. Who created this monster, anyway? Were they aware of how few of us perceive the proper meaning of the word resolution? There are roughly 11 possible meanings. The voices and I have consulted http://www.dictionary.com/ and concurred amongst ourselves- number 7 (Medicine - The subsiding or termination of an abnormal condition, such as a fever or an inflammation - from the American Heritage Dictionary) is our favorite. But numbers 1-3 would be sufficient for the more traditional intentions involving a New Year's Resolution:
  1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
  2. A resolving to do something.
  3. A course of action determined or decided on.

It is true that many people do perceive the meaning, conceive a plan and thus, achieve their goal. Know that the saner voices in my head are snarling at you, whoever you are and wherever you sleep.(Don't worry, the less sane voices are distracted by the bubble wrap padding my brain...)

But woe betide the hoddypeak who makes a resolution she knows she can't keep. A person who fails to be an oxymoron is, after all, only a moron. A seeming and sometimes popular solution is to make a resolution that is easy to accomplish or even impossible to fail. This is my strategy for 2007. A deep breath, and here we go:

  1. I will write 1 sentence of a novel every day. It will be of the same novel but not necessarily in consecutive order.
  2. When I finish this sentence (and I must do it before I leave my apartment every day) I must spin in a circle 3 times.
  3. Every time someone tells me his or her own NYRs, I must wish them a successful endeavor.

Well then, to myself and others making resolutions on this fateful day - May success betide us throughout our quests!

Word of the Day: Hoddypeak: (noun) idiot, fool, or blockhead

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'm Falling Down an Endless Void...

and that void is my mind. I think the voices are eating my brain cells. It is the only explanation. But that is not the actual point of this entry. The point is those 4 awful words every shopper hears the voices in (or outside) their head scream, "Oh! I want that!" Christmas shopping is generally suppose to be about other people, right? Leaving the meaning and purpose of Christmas aside for now, (I love you, Jesus, but, oddly enough, I didn't see you in the checkout line...) Er, got lost somewhere in the middle of a thought... oh yeah. Merry Christmas to ME! I'm really going to enjoy keeping every one's presents for myself this year... well, not really.

Fortunately, those 4 evil words stayed trapped in my mind, well away from my fingers... and my wallet. Mostly.

Quote of the Day: I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.
-Robert Fulghum
http://robertfulghum.com/index.php/fulghumweb/entry/307_a_wave_in_winter/

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Fubble My Mubbles!

WORD OF THE DAY: mubblefubbles

The mubblefubbles. A long dead word meaning depressed. "I have the mubblefubbles" would be like saying "I have the blues". With it being so long dead, I shall slaughter the phrase further. Upon encountering the crankier cranberries of the world I shall tell them, "Go fubble your mubbles elsewhere!"

The trouble with the word mubblefubble is in maintaining a straight face while saying it - a difficulty which renders the phrase, "Go fubble your mubbles!" useless as an insult. All of which qualifies it as... NONSENSICAL SUNSHINE!

On a more serious note, World Aids Day was friday (December 1). If you haven't already, lend your voice to the ONE Campaign to fight against global AIDs and poverty. All they want from you is your voice. In a very non-sea witch kind of way.

Friday, December 1, 2006

Top 3 Reasons to be Happy

Waking up these days can be a dicey business. Your friends, your coworkers, your family, the strangers on the street, the voices in your head... the whole whining world snivels and shrieks, and really, who needs all that drama? And for most of us, this is the least of our problems. Or is it the worst? Pollyanna, I tell you, was on the right track. So today I give you not one, but three reasons to be glad.

1) You weren't dead yesterday.
2) You aren't dead today.
3) You might not be dead tomorrow.

My apologies to the ghosts and the nearly-a-ghosts. Do feel free to prove your existence by whatever dire vengeance you deem necessary.

Quote of the Day: Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun.
-Colleen C. Barrett
Colleen C. Barrett is President and Corporate Secretary for Southwest Airlines Co.
The quote was cheerfully borrowed from www.wisdomquotes.com

Edit May 2008: I recently made a Squidoo lens about Pollyanna. It has a poll and a duel. Are you a Pollyanna or a Mrs. Snow??? Head over and tell us who you are.